Dear Reader,

I wrote this to describe being stuck. It’s about depression and having to work your way out. There comes a point in my self reflection that I get caught up in “fixing” the things about myself that I believe are broken or need to be changed because they no longer align with who I want to be. This constant cycle of reflection, shame, then acceptance and change is never ending. There won’t be an “end” to that cycle, but I’ve heard we have to accept that and lean into it. The further we dig into ourselves, I assume, we then find the deeper capacity to understand and love as well.

In the mud,
twisting a rope though,
found some sticks
May not be lickity-split.

I keep digging down
I heard her voice telling me wait
“you’re going too far, too wide, too fast”

But this is my drug
I am addicted.
Watch me find myself then get conflicted.